Reporting on mayoral primaries distorts Jewish tradition

NY Times   While the Democratic field remained unsettled, Mr. Lhota was moving on Thursday to reach out to potential supporters. In the morning, he visited the Queens burial site of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, who was the revered leader of Lubavitch Hasidim. 

Flanked by rabbis, one of whom addressed him as “Mr. Mayor,” Mr. Lhota asked for, and received, a gift of honey cake, following a Jewish tradition associated with the Lubavitcher rebbe, as Rabbi Schneerson was known. 

Mr. Lhota, wearing a black skullcap, brought a note to the rebbe’s grave site, tore it and cast it onto a pile of other torn notes, in accordance with another Jewish custom. 

Asked whether his note was about the election, he said only, “It’s all about the future of New York City.” 

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Rav Shlomo Fisher - The halachic significance of public acceptance by the masses

Addded additonal material 9/16/13. The following is a very fascinating and provocative essay by Rav Shomo Fisher explaining the authority of something accepted by the masses - even just as behavior without explicit acceptance. [It is 8 pages long  - this is just the first page.] It is  in his Beis Yishai (chapter 15). In brief he is explaining that halachic authority and creativity can arise from the actions of the masses and not just from the Torah or rabbis. The consequences of this thesis are very significant

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The Torah has a legal characteristic which is based on the concept of bris (covenant). In fact the Rishonim were very interested as to why it was necessary for G‑d to establish a bris with the Jews for them to accept the observance of mitzvos. If there hadn't been a bris would that have meant that no one would have to obey G‑d? If you want to say in fact that they would not have been obligated to keep mitzvos without a bris   - then what is the purpose of the bris?  What in reality requires them to fulfill that which they have accepted to do? Isn't it simply because that is G‑d's will and He wanted the Torah to have a legal character and it is known that law is based on bris? In other words bris is based on the acceptance of the community. This idea that a legal system is dependent on the acceptance of the governed is expressed by the Rashbam (Bava Basra 54b). He explained that Shmuel's principle of dina d'malchusa dina (the law of the land is halachically binding) means that all the members of the kingdom willing accept the decrees of the king and his laws. In other words the individual's forcing himself to accept is the foundation of the acceptance. (I discuss this in greater length is my drasha to Shabbos Nachamu as to why G‑d saw fit to give the Torah in a legal manner.)

Let's explore the halachic significance of the acceptance of the community

We find that the Kesef Mishna (Hilchos Mamrim 2:1) writes, "What is the reason that an Amora doesn't dispute the words of a Tanna...? We can suggest that from the time of the finishing of the Mishna it was accepted that later generations would not be able to disagree with the Mishna. This was also done when the Talmud was finished that it was agreed that no one from then on had the right to disagree with it."

Rav Elchonon Wasserman comments on this Kesef Mishna, "This requires further thought to make understandable the nature of this acceptance. Why should it have the power to prevent any disagreement including the rejecting of the acceptance itself while if there was no acceptance they would have been able to disagree with it?" He answers that finishing of the Mishna was with the gathering of all the Sages of Israel or at least the majority. And this happened also with the finishing of the Talmud. And it is possible that at the finishing of the Talmud they in fact had the power to disagree with the Mishna..."

However look at the Rif at the end of Eiruvin where he writes, "The Babylonian Talmud is more authoritative then the Jerusalem Talmud because it is more recent." It would seem that there is no need for this explanation for the authority of the Babylonian Talmud. It should be sufficient that the Babylonian Talmud was finished with the gathering of all the Sages and therefore it has the status of Sanhedrin. In contrast the Jerusalem Talmud where there is no mention that it was finished with a gather of the Sages of Israel – does not have the power of Sanhedrin. [See my derasha where I attempt to answer this]. 

I don't know who revealed to them what happened historically when there is no evidence. In fact the Kesef Mishna is correct. [Similarly Rabbeinu Yona's [beginning of Avos] historical claims regarding the writing of the Oral Law and the prohibition of adding or subtracting from it is also problematic.] 

The basis of the authority of public acceptance is stated by the Rivash (#399) in the name of the Ramban. "All acceptance by the masses for the sake of a protective fence to the Torah is like the acceptance of the Torah itself and it becomes obligatory not only for those who accepted it but also their descendants forever. This is true even if they did not actually agree to keep it but merely conducted themselves as if they accepted it - as a fence to the Torah. This principle that the acceptance of the masses itself obligates future generations is explicit in the Torah and commentaries and is if it were divinely given....

Look at Rav Elochon Wasserman's Divrei Sofrim (1:14) where he says, It would appear from the Ramban (Comments to Sefer HaMitzvos) that he disagrees with the Rambam in two points 1) regarding the verses of "You should do everything they tell you" and "don't deviate from what they tell you" It seems that the Rambam says these verses apply to rabbinic mitzvos and prohibitions... It also seems from the Ramban's pointing out that rabbinic halachos are less severe than Torah prohibitions that they can not be based on the Torah at all. ... If the Ramban was only disagreeing with the Ramban regarding the significance of the verse lo sasur (don't deviate)  but that he agreed that obeying the words of the Sages is a Torah obligation whether from a verse, logic or halacha l'Moshe - then the question he asks of the Ramban why Rabbinic laws are less severe would also apply to him. What difference what the Torah sources of Rabbinic laws because they would all require that in a case of doubt that one should be machmir. Therefore one is forced to say that the Ramban's view is that there is absolutely no Torah command to obey the Sages. But this is an astounding view! If there is no Torah source for listening to the Sages what is the reason that we are obligated to listen to them and not violate there words since there is absolutely no verse, halacha or sevora (common sense)? Because even if you say it is a servora then the question of why rabbinic halacha is less severe than Torah laws reappears. this is because we see in many places in the Talmud the principle "What needs is there for a verse since there is a sevora." That clearly shows that there is no difference in whether a halacha is generated from a verse or servora.

In fact Rav Elchonon Wasserman writes that he asked Rav Shimon Shkop about this Ramban. He replied that the Ramban hold that the obligation to listen to the Sages is because of sevora... While he initially questioned this view he changed his mind as seen by what he wrote in Divrei Sofrim. Nevertheless the views of Rav Shimon Shkop are prohibited to listen to and it is very surprising that Rav Elchonon praised them.

The Mabit in fact accepts the view that the Ramban believes that there is no source in the Torah to listen to  the Sages and that the verse is simply an asmachta. This would apparently greatly reduce the signficance of rabbinic laws! However it appears from the Mabit that the source of authority is from tradition (kabbala) and G-d gave them the right to make changes which they based on understanding hints in the verses... The Mabit says that they have a tradition to make protective measures..  This is also the language of the Ramban. This idea that their authority is based on G-d's authorization is discussed in detail in the sefer Yesod Havodah....

However all of these assertions that rabbinic authority is from G-d has no basis. In particular to make up an assertion that there was a halacha l'Moshe for their authority is simply incredible. In fact the basis of rabbinical authority is the fact that the entire Jewish people accepted their authority on themselves. This is what was cited before from the Rivash in the name of the Ramban.... In other words, the principle is that the acceptance by the masses of rabbinic authority is what makes it obligatory for all generations. This is explicit in the Torah, Neviim ad in Kesubim in many places. The obligation is the consequence of the acceptance on themselves of the Jewish people. The reason that rabbinic law is less severe than Torah law is simply because they didn't accept it to have the same severity as Torah law but rather to be lenient in cases of doubt etc. This in fact is the view of the Kesef Mishneh when he said that from the day of the finishing of the Mishneh  it was accepted that the later generations could not argue with the earlier generations. And this was true also with the finsihing of the Talmud...
[to be continued]

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Simon Sinek : "It is not what you do but why you do it"

A critical contribution to social understanding. He presents the thesis that behavior is best driven by focus on why we doing things rather than what we do. Related to child abuse - it is not enough to create laws to punish abuse and provide rules to avoid situations where abuse can occur. It is not enough to get people to report abuse. It is important that everyone understand that abusing others causes pain - and we need to value not hurting others.

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Is Emotional Intelligence critical for academic success as well as success in life?

NY Times [...] Wade’s approach — used schoolwide at Garfield Elementary, in Oakland, Calif. — is part of a strategy known as social-emotional learning, which is based on the idea that emotional skills are crucial to academic performance. 

“Something we now know, from doing dozens of studies, is that emotions can either enhance or hinder your ability to learn,” Marc Brackett, a senior research scientist in psychology at Yale University, told a crowd of educators at a conference last June. “They affect our attention and our memory. If you’re very anxious about something, or agitated, how well can you focus on what’s being taught?” 

Once a small corner of education theory, S.E.L. has gained traction in recent years, driven in part by concerns over school violence, bullying and teen suicide. But while prevention programs tend to focus on a single problem, the goal of social-emotional learning is grander: to instill a deep psychological intelligence that will help children regulate their emotions. 

For children, Brackett notes, school is an emotional caldron: a constant stream of academic and social challenges that can generate feelings ranging from loneliness to euphoria. Educators and parents have long assumed that a child’s ability to cope with such stresses is either innate — a matter of temperament — or else acquired “along the way,” in the rough and tumble of ordinary interaction. But in practice, Brackett says, many children never develop those crucial skills. “It’s like saying that a child doesn’t need to study English because she talks with her parents at home,” Brackett told me last spring. “Emotional skills are the same. A teacher might say, ‘Calm down!’ — but how exactly do you calm down when you’re feeling anxious? Where do you learn the skills to manage those feelings?” 

A growing number of educators and psychologists now believe that the answer to that question is in school. George Lucas’s Edutopia foundation has lobbied for the teaching of social and emotional skills for the past decade; the State of Illinois passed a bill in 2003 making “social and emotional learning” a part of school curriculums. Thousands of schools now use one of the several dozen programs, including Brackett’s own, that have been approved as “evidence-based” by the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning, a Chicago-based nonprofit. All told, there are now tens of thousands of emotional-literacy programs running in cities nationwide. 

The theory that kids need to learn to manage their emotions in order to reach their potential grew out of the research of a pair of psychology professors — John Mayer, at the University of New Hampshire, and Peter Salovey, at Yale. In the 1980s, Mayer and Salovey became curious about the ways in which emotions communicate information, and why some people seem more able to take advantage of those messages than others. While outlining the set of skills that defined this “emotional intelligence,” Salovey realized that it might be even more influential than he had originally suspected, affecting everything from problem solving to job satisfaction: “It was like, this is predictive!” 

In the years since, a number of studies have supported this view. So-called noncognitive skills — attributes like self-restraint, persistence and self-awareness — might actually be better predictors of a person’s life trajectory than standard academic measures. A 2011 study using data collected on 17,000 British infants followed over 50 years found that a child’s level of mental well-being correlated strongly with future success. Similar studies have found that kids who develop these skills are not only more likely to do well at work but also to have longer marriages and to suffer less from depression and anxiety. Some evidence even shows that they will be physically healthier.

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Yom Kippur, Tel Aviv style

Times of Israel   Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement – begins this Friday evening. Many people know Jews don’t eat or drink for 25 hours (sundown to sundown) but few know what actually happens on Yom Kippur in modern, non-religious, Israel.

When I arrived, just over four years ago, Yom Kippur in Tel Aviv took me by complete surprise.

Practically all cars and motor transport will stop. Just not go anywhere. Almost no planes, trains or automobiles will move until Saturday night. [...]

From sundown to sundown the streets are full of people strolling or cycling; on suburban streets or along 10 lane highways, the only thing you have to watch out for are kids on speeding bicycles. Non observant people figure out how, for just one day a year, not to drive except for dire emergencies.

I will allow my 4 year old child to pedal furiously down a 6 lane divided highway in whichever direction he prefers. [...]

So why is being Jewish so different when you’re in Israel? There has never, in my recollection, been a Jew outside of Israel who’s publicly got upset by anyone eating, even in front of him, on Yom Kippur. 

Jews have never, and will never, ask you to stop driving for a day in your country. It just won’t happen. Even in our own country this isn’t a law, it’s just something the vast majority of Jews want to do because, over here, in Jewish Israel, it feels right.

That is the difference between living as a Jew outside Israel and as a Jew in Israel: here we can just BE Jewish and the calendar and the customs and the norms of behavior push us into being culturally Jewish even if we don’t want to study Torah for nine hours a day.[...]

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Visiting the Lubavitcher Rebbe's grave

NY Times    [...] In the nearly 20 years since the death of the rebbe, as Rabbi Schneerson was known, what began as a spontaneous pilgrimage has evolved into a spiritual touchstone of the religious movement he spawned, complete with its own rituals, controversies and supplicants from all corners of the globe. 

And, perhaps in a nod to the famously sleepless city where the rebbe lived, preached and died, his grave site is open night and day.[...]

The pilgrimage to Cambria Heights, a largely black, middle-class neighborhood, has faced some challenges. Large celebratory crowds have frustrated neighbors, and efforts at expansion — most recently, a proposal for a more permanent structure than the tentlike ohel — have been met with opposition by the local community board. The center has made efforts to streamline parking, and in June, delivered bottles of wine to neighbors on surrounding streets, Rabbi Refson said. The number of visitors commemorating the rebbe’s death now tops 30,000. 

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Girl’s Suicide Points to Rise in Apps Used by Cyberbullies

NY Times    The clues were buried in her bedroom. Before leaving for school on Monday morning, Rebecca Ann Sedwick had hidden her schoolbooks under a pile of clothes and left her cellphone behind, a rare lapse for a 12-year-old girl. 

Inside her phone’s virtual world, she had changed her user name on Kik Messenger, a cellphone application, to “That Dead Girl” and delivered a message to two friends, saying goodbye forever. Then she climbed a platform at an abandoned cement plant near her home in the Central Florida city of Lakeland and leaped to the ground, the Polk County sheriff said.

In jumping, Rebecca became one of the youngest members of a growing list of children and teenagers apparently driven to suicide, at least in part, after being maligned, threatened and taunted online, mostly through a new collection of texting and photo-sharing cellphone applications. Her suicide raises new questions about the proliferation and popularity of these applications and Web sites among children and the ability of parents to keep up with their children’s online relationships. 

For more than a year, Rebecca, pretty and smart, was cyberbullied by a coterie of 15 middle-school children who urged her to kill herself, her mother said. The Polk County sheriff’s office is investigating the role of cyberbullying in the suicide and considering filing charges against the middle-school students who apparently barraged Rebecca with hostile text messages. Florida passed a law this year making it easier to bring felony charges in online bullying cases.[...] 

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Atonement, Forgiveness, And Our Most Fundamental Error

Scientific American   Today is the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. Although it is often called the “holiest day of the Jewish year,” what is notable about Yom Kippur is not the fact that it is particularly holy, nor is it the fact that many Jews you know might be particularly hungry today. Yom Kippur is notable because it is really all about the unequivocal importance of one thing — atonement. We sit in our religious services all day, reflecting on the need to atone for our sins. However, it is stressed that we cannot just do this by showing up to services and praying. We must also directly ask for forgiveness from those that we have wronged in the past year; and, in turn, we must be willing to grant forgiveness to those whom we believe have wronged us.

This past week has been a particularly challenging one for me, a fact that is only made more salient by my recent reflection on Yom Kippur. This was a week filled with a lot of stress – a major disagreement with friends (an unpleasantry that doesn’t happen all too often, thankfully, though this relative infrequency makes it especially painful when it does occur), dissertation work, transitioning back into a new semester of teaching, losing a flash drive for a period of about 24 hours (always enough to give me a few panic attacks). I had to face the unavoidable fact that I’ve once again found myself over-scheduled and under-rested this semester, and brace myself for the uncomfortable reality of having to let go of a few commitments and inevitably let people down. And of course there were more things — smaller stresses here and there that are not worth mentioning, and larger ones that are less appropriate for a public blog. But in a way, it’s almost perfect that Yom Kippur has arrived for me after such a truly stressful, overwhelming week. If nothing else, this week has served as a critical reminder to me of one of the most consistent and foundational facts in all of social psychology. The environment that surrounds us — those stressors, obligations, demands, fights, and other situational pushes that we constantly experience — have a strong, disconcerting influence on our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. If we’re going to reflect on atonement, it must serve us well to acknowledge just how important our surrounding environments can be when it comes to events that require repentance — and just how often we might fail to acknowledge the situation’s strong role in our lives. If someone were to judge me for anything that I said or did this week, I know that I would hope they would have accounted for the numerous stressors and other dramatic ongoings that could be influencing my words and actions. Unfortunately, given what I know of social psychology, I’m also well aware that they probably would not have done so — and to be fair, I likely wouldn’t be immediately prone to doing so either, if the tables were turned. [...]

I bring this up today, on Yom Kippur, because if we are going to focus on atonement, it is worth considering how our ability to forgive and forget might be at the whim of our cognitive biases. All too often, we are quick to form dispositional attributions for behaviors that might actually have situational causes — and all too often, those attributions are negative. Perhaps that driver did not cut you off because he is a jerk, but because another car was about to swerve into his lane, or because he had two children in the backseat who had just distracted his attention, or because his wife was in labor and he was rushing to get to the hospital. Maybe that girl had to stop on her way to class because of an emergency, or she just added the class the minute before she walked in, or she was actually accidentally showing up 30 minutes early for the next class. It becomes so much easier to engage in this atonement process and understand where others are coming from once we realize that all too often, we are actually doing ourselves a disservice if our ultimate goal truly is forgiveness. We can often over-perceive the presence of bad intentions arising from other people’s inner traits and personalities, when those bad intentions really might not be there…at all.

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Op-Ed: Should Teachers Be Saying ‘Yechi’ with Students?

Crown Heights Info   At a recent Chaddishe auspicious day, celebrated with a children’s rally at 770 with several schools participating, there was a teacher from one of the schools that delivered a captivating story to the assembled children. It was a tale from the days of the Baal Shem Tov.

The teacher described this poor Jew thrown into prison by the poretz for lacking the funds to cover rent. He relayed to the spellbound children; “The yid was in such great despair and so sad, he felt that nobody can help him, so he screamed to Hashem from the depths of his heart, “Yechi Adoneinu… leolam Voed!”

Today, dropping my three year old child off at school, I entered the classroom with my kid, and the children were in the midst of davening. Yechi was a very central part as it was sung with great vigor. I was astounded. He isn’t enrolled in a fringe school, rather one of the mainstream ones that has been around for decades.[...]

Is it the role of a school that serve a diverse parent body, to be an indoctrination ground for children from the moment they begin to develop?

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A Communal Confession by 5TJT Editorial Staff

Five Towns Jewish Times

 אשמנו  - We have been guilty.  We have cared more for our reputations than we have for the victims of molesters in our midst.

בגדנו  - We have betrayed the innocent and the weak among us.  We have ignored the pleas of those who have been victimized.

גזלנו  - We have stolen. We have stolen the childhood and the innocence of victims by not acting to remove people from positions of authority where they can continue abusing.

דברנו דופי  -We have spoken falsely.  We have said that those who make such accusations are liars – when we either knew that this was not the case, or where we were unsure. We have misused the notion of Chezkas Kashrus to ignore our obligation to protect our charges.

העוינו  - We have caused others to sin.  By allowing redifus to be swept under the table, we have allowed other molesters to further sin.

והרשענו  - We have caused others to do evil. By not acting upon what we had known we have caused others to pursue the victims and their supporters and to label them mosrim.

זדנו  - We have had evil hearts.  We have planned revenge against victims of molestation and their supporters by excluding them from the communal institutions that we control.  We have vilified them in our papers and publications.

חמסנו  - We have become violent.  We have yelled at victims and their supporters and have fought against them.

טפלנו שקר  - We have attached lies.  We have attached ourselves to sinners.  We have allowed molesters to continue operating and have actively supported them.

יעצנו רע  - We have advised evil.  We have told people who have molested others what to do to avoid being caught.

כזבנו  - We have lied. We have done so in crafty ways where we have taught ourselves to be deceptive people.

לצנו  - We have scoffed.  We have made fun of those who have pointed out the fundamentally wrong issues of not cleaning up our act.  We have labeled them mosrim, anti-Semites, and self-hating Jews who try to destroy our Torah Mosdos.

מרדנו  - We have rebelled against the noble principles of the Torah in allowing this shameful behavior to continue.

ניאצנו  - We have been scornful – causing Hashem to be angry at us.  We have not cared to ascertain the truth or to protet Hashem’s nation from a grave internal danger.

סרנו  - We have turned from the path of the Torah’s truthful ideals and have created a Chilul Hashem.

עוינו  - We have intentionally allowed Chilul Hashem to continue by making Klal Yisroel look like they defend child molesters and that we do not protect the victims.

פשענו  - We have sinned/ rebelled.  We have entirely ignored the psak din of Gedolim who have said that when there is clear Raglayim ladavar to molestation we must involve authorities

צררנו  - We have persecuted members of Klal Yisroel by only getting rid of the known molester from our school, but allowing him to move to other communities and continue.

קשינו עורף  - We have been stiff-necked and stubborn in this matter and still have not learned important lessons.

רשענו  - We have been lawless and wicked.  We have created an environment where those who stand up for victims are looked at as troublemakers.

שיחתנו  - We have corrupted our communities with the incorrect notion that it is forbidden to protect victims from their oppressors.

תעינו  - We have strayed.  We have strayed far from the ideals of Torah in supporting oppressors and even in saying, “We have other things to worry about first.”

תיעבנו  - We have done abominations.  Our support for those who victimize others is a complete abomination in the eyes of Hashem.

תיעתענו  - We have allowed ourselves to be led astray.  Because of this issue we have ceased our role in becoming a light unto the nations and are off-track.

וסרנו ממצותיך וממשפטיך הטובים ולא שוה לנו ואתה צדיק על כל הבא עלינו כי אמת עשית ואנחנו הרשענו – We have turned away from your Mitzvos and chosen something unworthy of us.         And You Hashem are Righteous in all that is brought upon us for You have done Truth and we have wrought evil.

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Couple who had child after 25 years - not because of segulos

Hidabroot      This video interview presents a clear contrast to the hashkofa presented in a previous post - A tzadik is born because of a clothes line

בכיוון אחר: גבריאל ועדה מוטי

קשה להישאר אדיש מול סיפורם האישי של עדה וגבי מוטי. אחרי 25 שנים של ציפייה, המתנה, תפילות ומה לא – הגיחה לעולם בתם רחל. מה עבר עליהם עד אז?
בתכנית "בכיוון אחר" מקיים העיתונאי דודו כהן שיחות עומק עם אנשים שביצעו תפנית רוחנית בחייהם. הפעם נתוודע, כאמור, לסיפורם של גבריאל ועדה מוטי.

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Timely question: Did Moshe Rabeinu have a "Deri Luluv"

Guest Post from Pinchas Shalom

I went to get ד' מינים (Luluv & Esrog) tonight. After putting a few Esrogim aside i turned to the Luluvim. The second one i picked up was a beauty. It was a tall, fresh, deep green, and fully closed "Deri". 

I said, half to myself, "Moshe Rabeinu didn't have such a Luluv!!". (I thought it not debatable).

The fellow next to me, apparently overhead. He announced a bit louder "of course Moshe Rabeini had a Lee'lev just as nice!!".

A third patron now chimed in, "you think Moshe Rabeinu had Deri  Luluvim?"

The debate ensued, with the fellow next to me making the closing statement. "Its kfirah to say Moshe Rabeinu didn't have a Deri!!".

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Senior Australian rabbi apologizes for rabbinical mishandling of abuse

The Age - Australia   Australia's most senior Orthodox rabbi has apologised for years of mishandling and cover-up of child sexual abuse within the Jewish community and urged abusers to hand themselves in to police.

"For whatever reason a culture of cover-up, often couched in religious terms pervaded our thinking and actions. It may even have been well-intentioned, but it was simply wrong," said Moshe Gutnick, the president of the Organisation of Rabbis of Australia, on Wednesday.

Ahead of the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, the Day of Atonement, Rabbi Gutnick told victims no one could know their pain and what they had been through.

"And the pain has only been magnified by our inaction. On this holiest of days, I sincerely beg your forgiveness on behalf of all of us who did not hear your voice.

"I can only assure you on my behalf, and on behalf of the vast majority of the Rabbinate, that we hear you now loud and clear." [...] 

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Child Abuse - How do we speed up progress?

Baruch HaShem we have seen significant progress in dealing with sexual abuse. Only a few short years we all knew that child abuse either didn't exist or wasn't a serious problem. The learned amongst us knew that it could only be dealt with by rabbis after two witnesses testified that sodomy or rape of a doreissa level had occurred. The crime of sexual abuse was viewed as a moral one – in which the psychological consequences were assumed to be insignificant. No one heard of post-traumatic stress syndrome. Everyone knew that the molester was some weird psychopathic stranger and therefore there was nothing to fear from the kind neighbor, charismatic teacher or wonderful father. Who knew about the complex and conflicting feelings evoked by a beloved teacher who groomed a child for abuse. No one could believe that a child would keep coming back to the abuser who was molesting them. No one understood that abuse caused suppression of memories that only appear years later. We all "knew" that if abuse was happening it would be reported immediate by an outraged child. Failure to even tell one's parents or teacher immediately was viewed as proof that the accusations were false. 

The police were never called because of the horrific sin of Mesira - which is such a heinous crime that it causes the loss of Olam HaBah (Rosh HaShanna 17a). Who would dare risk violating the complex laws of lashon harah as explained by the Chofetz Chaim? In fact the issue of sexual abuse was viewed by the average parent or teacher as being so complex that only gedolim could know how to deal with the issue. We of course knew that the prime consequence of abuse was damaged to prospective shidduchim for the whole family. Other harmful consequences of abuse involved ruining the reputation of a yeshiva or causing a chilul HaShem. However we really weren't worried about abuse – because it was such a rare occurrence like being struck by lightning after winning the lottery. We of course were comforted by the assumption that the watchful eyes of the gedolim were protecting our kids from this scourge – and would never ever allow anyone to harm the hair of a single kid – and surely would not knowingly keep a child molester as a teacher or camp counselor for decades. After all didn't they have the ruach hakodesh of Daas Torah that they indoctrinated us to believe gave them insight and understanding way beyond that of a mere parent?  Aside from that we all knew that the rabbis followed G-d's Torah fearlessly and they would never be afraid to stand up to pressure from the community and peers. I mean everyone knows that fearlessness in proclaiming the halacha is itself a Torah command (Devarim 1:16).  

Major changes started in 2006-2007. Rabbi Zweibel of the Aguda readily acknowledged that the gedolim had been ignoring the problem ("it was on the back burner") until it came to the public awareness through the secular media (N.Y. Magazine "Do Orthodox Jews have a Catholic Church problem?) as well as blogs and a number of organizations. Child abuse has moved from an issue which was never mentioned in public to one that even Rabbi Perlow - the head of the Aguda - has publicly acknowledged at an Aguda Convention.

The major accomplishment of this phase was the mere fact that abuse was acknowledged publicly as a significant problem. Additionally it was beginning to be acknowledged that covering up abuse (contrary to the public statement by Rabbi Mattisyahu Solomon) – was not only not a good idea – but that due to the secular media and internet – it really was impossible to "sweep things under the rug".  The Baltimore rabbis collectively issued a proclamation in 2007 in which they acknowledged that a serious problem existed and that they were not competent to deal with it.

While all of this is important, it is not my primary focus in this article. I did not mention recent events to provide a history lesson in the dynamics of our community. All of this is a necessary introduction of a very important question.

The question is - What do we need to work on to speed up the processes of change within our communities and within ourselves? How do we give victims of abuse the courage to come forth? How do we prevent abuse? What is the best way to comfort and heal the survivors of abuse and their families? (I met someone over Rosh HaShanna who confided to me that he had been abused as a child and now – 30 years later – despite intensive therapy he and his family still suffered terribly every day.) How do we get our rabbis, educational and community leaders to have the courage to deal with the issue? How do we get them to understand what action halacha demands of them – rather than what is the fastest way to cover up the facts? 

In short – what is the best way to finish the revolution of dealing with sexual abuse? Suggestions are welcome!

Update: 9/16/13 One important issue is that it is necessary to change how we think about abuse. It is not that enough to say that it is wrong and needs to be stopped. It is necessary to understand on the most elementary level that abuse is harming another person and that can not be tolerated. See Simon Sinek regarding the greater importance of why we do things than what we do.

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D.A. Hynes defeated as voters choose the less problematic candidate

NY Times  Kenneth P. Thompson, a former federal prosecutor, performed the rare feat of defeating a sitting district attorney by beating Brooklyn’s six-term incumbent, Charles J. Hynes, on Tuesday in the Democratic primary.

The primary followed a fierce race that often seemed more a referendum on Mr. Hynes’s lengthy record than a choice between two candidates. Though Mr. Hynes had faced serious and sometimes divided opposition before, this year’s race pitted the 78-year-old district attorney against a single well-financed candidate who rallied anti-Hynes sentiment in the borough. Mr. Thompson, 47, used a torrent of negative publicity about prosecutorial behavior in Mr. Hynes’s office to paint the incumbent as unethical and out of touch. [...]

More recently, Mr. Hynes was forced to backtrack or re-evaluate several murder convictions from the early part of his tenure, and was dogged by his handling of cases in Brooklyn’s ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities, most of whose leaders endorsed him. 

Mr. Hynes was seen as slow to prosecute child sexual abuse allegations against ultra-Orthodox Jews because of rabbinical resistance, but stepped up abuse prosecutions in the last year, and won a significant case involving a therapist who sexually abused a young patient. 

This put Mr. Hynes, politically, in somewhat of a precarious position, as some ultra-Orthodox Jews resented the prosecutions. But one Hasidic voter, who would only give his first name, Martin, said he had chosen Mr. Hynes at the strong urging of the community’s religious leaders. “The leaders told us he’d be better for us,” he said.[...]

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2 members of a sadistic polygamous Breslaver cult - convicted of severely abusing children and women

Times of Israel  [see also YNET] The Jerusalem District Court convicted the leader of a “sadistic cult” uncovered in 2011 and his accomplice Tuesday on most of the charges levied against them.

The two were convicted of various sexual offenses, holding individuals in conditions of slavery, and abusing women and dozens of children. The names of the defendants were withheld from the public out of privacy concerns.  [...]

Initially, nine members of a well-known polygamous Breslav Hasidic family were arrested, including three men and six women, but only the three men were indicted. The children were placed with foster families.[...]

The leader of the cult was indicted on 15 counts, including slavery, physical, sexual and emotional abuse of minors — including some of his own biological children — unlawful imprisonment, indecent sexual acts, sodomy, rape, serious violent crimes and indecent assault, according to the indictment.

The accomplice, also charged with committing numerous violent sex crimes under the leader’s orders, was the one who most often committed the abuses and was known by the nicknames of “Satan” and “Evil Inclination” by the victims. The third man was only accused in one incident of physical and sexual abuse and was not convicted on Tuesday. [...]

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Rav Kafach: Israeli monetary law determines halacha

The following excerpt is taken from Justice Elon's Mishpat Ivri (volume IV pages 1761-1762). It asserts an interesting rationale why secular Israeli law regarding money can be binding according to the halacha. This is important especially on the issue of divorce settlements where halacha and secular law greatly diverge.

=========================

A particularly instructive approach to the relationship between Israeli statutory law and Jewish law is taken by Rabbi Yosef Kafah. a member of the Rabbinical Court of Appeals and a major halakhic authority in the State of Israel. Rabbi Kafah's position is expressed in the leading case of discussed further below. In commenting on statements made by the district court as to the nature of statutory provisions expressly made applicable to the rabbinical courts as well as the general courts, he said:

It would seem that these statements concerning "laws explicitly directed to them [the rabbinical courts]" are based on a perception that the Legislature has acted to require the rabbinical courts to reach decisions that are contrary to their religious beliefs. Indeed, many people share this perception, but their logic begs the question. They assume the premise that these laws require the rabbinical courts to reach decisions that are contrary to the laws of the Torah, and on the basis of that premise they conclude that the law "violates pure halakhic considerations." But this conclusion is not inevitable; rather, the law should be viewed according to its plain meaning.

Section 1 of the Woman's Equal Rights Law provides: "The same law shall apply to women and men with regard to every legal transaction." Section 5 provides: "This law shall not affect the religious law in matters of marriage and divorce.26

The plain meaning of these provisions is that the Legislature established a binding rule only with respect to monetary matters, in regard to which it perceived the existing law as discriminating against women .... The legisla­ tive mandate is manifestly based on the assumption that legislation as to monetary matters would not affect religious law, since the legislation is con­ sidered "a stipulation as to a monetary matter"; therefore, it is not a [prohibited] stipulation to contract out of a Biblical norm. Consequently, it may be assumed that the Legislature had no intention to interfere with anything that is not "a stipulation as to a monetary matter." This is an instance of an ap­ proach that can lead to a proper understanding of a number of statutes that have not been so understood.27

In other words, just as under Jewish law there is freedom of contract, i. e., the parties to a legal transaction may agree on terms contrary to a particular halakhic rule, provided the agreement concerns a "monetary matter" (mamon) and not religious law (issur) ,28 so a statute of the Knesset, enacted in the name of the people by their elected representatives, is in the nature of an agreement by the people to conduct their affairs in accordance with the legislative provisions. As long as the matter does not concern religious law, such an agreement is fully effective even if it is contrary to a particular halakhic rule." This interpretive approach by Rabbi Kafah. which is particularly significant in that it is taken by a leading rabbinical court judge and important halakhic authority, is applicable not only to the particular question dealt with in the Nagar case but also, as explained more fully below ,to the broader question of the relationship between the rabbinical courts and the general legal system of the State of Israel.30

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Most Israeli female medical personel are sexually harrassed

Times of Israel    Most of Israel’s female medical personnel have been sexually harassed at one point or other during their career, a study showed.

The research, to be formally released at a conference Tuesday, found that 69 percent of female doctors have been victims of such behavior, as were 62% of female nurses, according to a report in the Maariv newspaper. The bulk of the unwanted attention came from patients, the survey said.[...]

Participants were also asked how frequently they felt harassed. While they were given the option to report harassment on a daily basis, Kagan noted that most of them reported such incidents happened either once a month or once a year. Age was a factor, as the younger nurses and doctors reported harassment at a more frequent pace. [...]

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Kolko case: Lakewood avreichim protest the disgusting treatment of victim's family

Just received this Lakewood pamphlet. I do not know who wrote it but it is now circulating Lakewood. It is good to see that there are those in Lakewood who get outraged by blatant injustice and chilul HaShem.    It provides a halachic defense of the victim's father actions and shows that he was not a moser. It severely criticizes those who drove him out of Lakewood.

 קונטרס והצדיקו את הצדיק Kolko case Defense of victim's family
  

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A tzadik is born because of a clothes line - and other false stories

[See updates below] [ See Couple has baby after 25 years]
Where does Jewish hashkofa come from? It is interesting to note that the Chovas HaLevavos says that the Sanhedrin did not deal with hashkofa questions because they can be known through seichel. In fact many hashkofa principles are learned from the proper study of medrashism and agada. However perhaps the most influential source of hashkofa are not seforim written by gedolim but rather stories about gedolim. Unfortunately as the Satmar Rebbe and others have pointed out - there is a problem of stories about gedolim actually being made up to teach hashkofa. The consequences of this is that not only did the events not happen as reported - but often the hashkofa being taught is distorted or is incorrect. But who can argue with frum "reality?"

I recently observed a heated debate between a couple regarding the necessity of being m'vatar ( of not pressing ones legitimate complaints but instead responding passively). The wife (ironically) insisted that it was obvious that one should not be aggressive in demanding one's rights from the following often told story - whose truth has been attested by many. She said triumphantly said, "It is clear from this story that the highest level of response is to be m'vatar. One should not strongly protest and defend one's rights - but simply grin and bear it - and G-d will reward you. If it hadn't been for this attitude of being m'vatar then not only would this woman not have a child - but the Jewish people would have been deprived of the tremendous zechus of having the gadol hador - Rav Eliashiv!"

This story is discussed in great detail in the biography of Rav Eliashiv and the author proves the story is inaccurate in describing the facts of Rav Eliashiv's life - who was not born in Jerusalem. [deletion]. Nonetheless it still is being taught in Beis Yaakovs and repeated by preachers of all types to prove a point. [see Yated editorial for a more detailed version]

Torah.org There's a well-known story of a Yerushalmi woman who'd spent hours washing sheets, stringing up lines, and hanging out her family's wash. A short time later, her upstairs neighbor came home and was annoyed at the lines that had been temporarily strung. Angrily, she cut them down, and the clean laundry fell onto the muddy ground. When the first woman later went to take in her wash, she was dismayed to discover a disaster -- all the clothes were dirty and would have to be rewashed. It was obvious to her exactly what had happened.

However, she said nothing; she took the muddy sheets back into her house and began the whole laborious washing process once again.

When her husband returned home, she made no mention of the afternoon's aggravation. But late that night, there was a frantic knocking at their door. There stood the upstairs neighbor, in tears. Her child had a sudden high fever, and she was asking forgiveness for the laundry incident. The husband, who had answered the door, was surprised to hear about the event. His wife immediately and wholeheartedly forgave the woman and wished her child a full and speedy recovery.

About a year later, this righteous woman gave birth to a special son -- Rabby Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, who today is the leading rabbi in Jerusalem.

 =====================================

Update September 9, 2013: First of I agree with some of the comments that the problem with the story is not its historical inaccuracy. 1) It must have happened in Lithuania and not Jerusalem. 2) The claim that his mother was childless for 17 years is problematic because that means that his father got married when he was 13 years. 3) Some versions say that as a result of this incident her great kabbalist father – the Leshem – gave her a beracha. But it only worked because of she restrained her upset. Other versions don't mention any beracha.

Of greater concern is that fact that Rav Eliashiv didn't seem interested in talking about the obvious greatness of his mother expressed in the story – but he just noted that the story wrongly claimed that he was born in Jerusalem! [Contrary what I had originally posted – he didn't claim the story was false.]

However there is something else that bothers me greatly about this story - something which has touched upon in some other comments. My concern is the great weight to miraculous events - or even positive events -  that are brought as proofs that a certain hashkofa or halacha is correct because of some observed differential consequences. 

It is clear that the story is told to prove the desirability of not responding when someone provokes. The "proof" for this assertion is that a woman whose wash was ruined but she didn't react or even comment – was rewarded with a child after 17 years. Not just any child but the gadol hador!

But does it in fact prove such a view? Obviously not. There are many factors that have been responsible for providing the merit of having a child. We simply aren't prophets.  

But doesn't it at least clarify what the ideal response is? The answer again is no!

The Yated's version: With much emotion, she related the story. She explained that the cruel actions of her neighbor had been too much for her to handle in her already fragile state and she couldn’t calm down. But rather than react with angry words to her neighbor, she went inside her home to express her pain in private. She told him how she then went and redid the laundry, without making a machlokes or telling anyone. “The fact that you didn’t respond to her and prevented this from becoming a fight,” said the father, “will be the merit you need to be helped. Your great deed will grant you a child who will be great.”

In fact if a person is hurt or suffers material loss because of the intentional acts of another – it is important to give tochacha. A Torah command. Such incorrect behavior needs to corrected – in a responsible manner. Repressing anger and hurt causes a transgression of "hatred in your heart" which we are told is worse than if we had hit the aggressor. Being m'vatair obviously has its place – especially when there is no constructive response possible e.g., if it causes greater aggression and anger. But acting as if nothing has happened is often not the appropriate response. If we accept  the "lesson" of the story then parent's whose child has been abused should just accept it and go on with life. This story incorrectly teaches that turning the other cheek is the ideal. [see Yoma 23a and Rambam in the comments section]

Another example of this "evidence" based Judaism would be a person who claims that her son's cancer went into remission because she stopped wearing a sheitel. Or a husband's bipolar disorder improved because his wife became a Taliban lady. 

Bottom line is we don't posken based on "simonim" as implied in Shulchan Aruch (Y.D. 179). This is explicitly stated in Bava Metzia (59b) which rejects the validity of proofs from the miracles that R' Eliezer brought to prove that the halacha was according to his view.

Update Sept 10, 2013 There is a flip side to this approach "evidence" based approach concerning negative experiences. I remember one morning going to a auto parts store in Far Rockaway and hearing the owner lament the fact that he had just become frum that week. "I was never robbed before I became religious."

A more direct statement of my concern for "evidence" based Judaism is a story I heard regarding Rav Yaakov Kaminetsky from his son-in-law - Rabbi Diskind.

1948 was believed to be a special time for Mosiach coming according to Kabbalistic sources. In Toronto there was a campaign of certain chassidim to get as many Jews to be Shomer Shabbos before Moshiach came. Rav Yaakov was consulted regarding a storekeeper who found the promises very tantalizing and was about to become Shomer Shabbos because of the chance that they might be true. Rav Yaakov's response was that they should stop pressuring the storekeeper to become observant. "Right now he is not observant but at least he is not an apikorus. When the year passes and Moshiach doesn't come he will not only stop being observant but will deliberately reject belief in Moshiach."

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Woman who testified against Weberman driven out of shul Rosh HaShanna

NY Post    The brave Orthodox Jewish teen whose testimony helped convict the prominent Brooklyn counselor who had sexually abused her was driven out of her own synagogue on Rosh Hashana last week.

The married, 18-year-old victim was in the Williamsburg synagogue where her family has prayed for the past decade when a man yelled, “Moser, out of the shul!” the woman’s husband told The Post on Sunday.

The word “moser” refers to a Jew who informs on another Jew to secular authorities.

“They stopped the praying until she left,” said her husband, Boorey Deutsch, 26. “Some woman tried telling my wife to stay there and not leave. She shouldn’t care what they say. But my wife ended up leaving.” 

“She felt horrible and mistreated. They treat survivors as if they are the abusers,” Deutsch fumed to The Post.

Deutsch and his wife have suffered harassment ever since she first accused Nechemya Weberman, 54, of sexually abusing her after she was sent to him for counseling as a 12-year-old. [...]

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YU Abuse Report: Prof Marci Hamilton gives it failing grade

Verdict Justia    After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day.

Before launching into my analysis of this disappointing report, I should clarify my own role in the report, given that this is one of my key areas of expertise and given that I am a law professor at Yeshiva’s law school.  Here is the summary of my involvement: I met once with YU Administrators, at my request, to urge them to do the right thing.  And I spoke with Ms. Seymour twice to urge her team to do the right thing.  My advice was not sought otherwise, and I saw the report first in the press.  In my view, they did not do the right thing.

The YU Report Is Not a “Report”

The YU Report is, in fact, a policy statement.  First, it spends seven pages describing what the Sullivan & Cromwell attorneys did.  Fair enough.

Second, it provides a four-paragraph (that is not a misprint) summary of “Findings.”  Readers are told that “multiple incidents of varying types of sexual and physical abuse took place at YUHSB [and at other schools comprising the University] during the relevant time period. . . including, in some instances, after members of the administration had been made aware of such conduct.”  This is little more than a continuation of the cover-up that apparently already occurred.

Third and finally, the rest of the document describes YU policies and how they should be improved.  Appended to the document is another report and analysis of its policies produced by T&M Protection Resources.

YU reportedly spent millions paying Sullivan and T&M to produce a “Report” that anyone with knowledge of child-protection policies could have written after receiving YU’s policies and reading the Forward stories.  I do not intend to denigrate Sullivan’s work or the work of T&M.  Future policies and analysis of past policies are valuable fodder for such endeavors, but I would not have permitted my name to be on such a deficient and embarrassing document.  A document that was truly a “Report” would have included an actual report of the facts that prompted the need to review those policies. [...]

Finally, and most troubling to me, is that this document is an affront to survivors everywhere.  I have never read a document of this genre with less verbiage speaking directly to the survivors.  It is, in a word, cold.  YU needs to figure out how to become more child-centered in its approach to abuse, or it will be fighting these battles for decades to come.

After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day. - See more at: http://verdict.justia.com/2013/09/05/sullivan-cromwell-and-yeshiva-university-issue-a-disappointing-report-on-child-sex-abuse-that-is-short-on-facts-and-long-on-public-relations#sthash.aMv0STHi.dpuf

After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day. - See more at: http://verdict.justia.com/2013/09/05/sullivan-cromwell-and-yeshiva-university-issue-a-disappointing-report-on-child-sex-abuse-that-is-short-on-facts-and-long-on-public-relations#sthash.aMv0STHi.dpuf

After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day. - See more at: http://verdict.justia.com/2013/09/05/sullivan-cromwell-and-yeshiva-university-issue-a-disappointing-report-on-child-sex-abuse-that-is-short-on-facts-and-long-on-public-relations#sthash.aMv0STHi.dpuf

After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day. - See more at: http://verdict.justia.com/2013/09/05/sullivan-cromwell-and-yeshiva-university-issue-a-disappointing-report-on-child-sex-abuse-that-is-short-on-facts-and-long-on-public-relations#sthash.aMv0STHi.dpuf

After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day. - See more at: http://verdict.justia.com/2013/09/05/sullivan-cromwell-and-yeshiva-university-issue-a-disappointing-report-on-child-sex-abuse-that-is-short-on-facts-and-long-on-public-relations#sthash.aMv0STHi.dpuf

After many months, and many media stories about child sex abuse at the Yeshiva University High School (“YUHS”) in The Jewish Daily Forward, Yeshiva University released the “independent investigation” of child abuse that was led by Karen Patton Seymour, Co-Managing Partner of the litigation department of the prestigious law firm Sullivan & Cromwell.  The report was issued on August 26, in the doldrums of the summer, the week before Labor Day. - See more at: http://verdict.justia.com/2013/09/05/sullivan-cromwell-and-yeshiva-university-issue-a-disappointing-report-on-child-sex-abuse-that-is-short-on-facts-and-long-on-public-relations#sthash.aMv0STHi.dpuf

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